Black and Sliver
by MemeShock
Summary: The story of a weapon at the DWMA. But a difference- he is Un-Meisterable. Title is parody of 'Black and Gold'. The summary sounds like its an epic adventure, well it is, but there is humour in this :/.
1. Chapter 1: Introductions

Hey, this is my first Soul Eater FF, so go easy on moi, kay?

I had this guy in a flash of brilliance. They happen sometimes. Rarely, but sometimes.

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Chapter 1: Introductions

THUD.

This is the noise that you often hear from me.

"Owww..."

And that's usually the second...

My name is Joe Texas. A misleading name... I'm not American at all, in fact I'm a quarter Irish...

How I look, I hear you say? Well, I normally wear black jeans, a black long Trench Coat with a shiny silver spiral winding round it on the right arm and a wide rimmed black hat that covers my black hair and shadows my eyes.

Ah yes, my eyes.

My eyes are a blue like no other and give off an effect that can only be described as hypnotism. And that why a wear that hat, to shadow my eyes to stop hypnotizing people.

At this moment I was walking toward the Death Weapon Meister Academy. Me being me, I didn't pay much attention to where I was going (more focused on the massive building in front of me) and walked into a lamppost.

"AH-HAH-HAH"

I mentally braced myself for the idiot I turned around to see.

"I, THE GREAT BLACK*STAR AM LAUGHING AT THIS GUY WALKING INTO THE LAMPOST! WAHOO!"

At this point, I began to get rather peed orf, So I used my weapon.

My weapon, as I haven't mentioned it yet, is that I am a weapon. My right arm turns into a silver whip with a cat o' nine tails at the end.

And so, I whipped this person... 'Black*Star' I believe he screamed.

Hurrying behind him was what I could only guess was his weapon. She was about to apologise for the kids behaviour, but she raised an eyebrow when she saw Black*Star running about, clutching hits forehead from the bleeding wound I had given him.

"I like you" She said in deadpan. I simply laughed.

"Glad to help."

"Who are you, anyway? I don't remember seeing you in the first year," She asked, titling her head in puzzlement. "Oh yes, my name is Tsubaki."

"Me? My name is Joe. Joe Texas, and I used to go to the LWMA."

The LWMA is the Life Weapon Meister Academy. Supposedly protecting the souls of the living. But most of the weapons and Meister there are lazy and stupid, so the DWMA has become increasingly popular... Mother Life is not best pleased at the moment, come to think of it.

"Oh, well, I'm not sure how you are going to find a Meister. Very few people come in on the second year." She said in concern.

"That won't be a problem." I said with a smug smile.

"Oh? And why not?"

"I am Un-Meisterable."

"Un-Meisterable?"

I recounted the tale in the LWMA about how I could not be used. "When I first went to the LWMA, I was a normal weapon, and an unusual one. For that reason, I had no trouble finding a Meister."

"So what went wrong?"

I grimaced. "When anyone treind to use me, there was a 10 second period of use before, as the last one put it, 'A bright flash of blue followed by passing out'"

"Oh," I could tell she felt sorry for me. Her face turned to puzzlement. "Hang on... how many people tried to use you?"

"Umm... 23 or 24."

"..."

"Yes, I know its a lot."

Before we could continue talking, Black*Star had recovered from his injury.

"HAH! THE GREAT BLACK*STAR FEELS NO PAIN! YOU..er.. what's your name again?" He asked.

"Joe."

"YOU JOE WILL PAY! AT SOME POINT WHERE I HAVEN'T... passed out... from blood loss."

He promptly passed out.

And so, the last thought I thought before we focused on dragging the kid along was 'What other idiots will I find here?'

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This was... so easy to write.. the easiest story I could have ever written!

REVIEW, so I know that people in fact like it.


	2. Chapter 2: The DWMA

Alrighty, Chapter 2!

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Chapter 2: The DWMA

After dragging idio- I mean, Black*Star all the way to the DWMA, I was told by some random guy- Spirit, I believe his name was- to go see Lord Death. And so, he took me to a place called 'The Death Room'.

I paled at first, for I thought it would be a torture room. But when I got to it with Spirit, it was just a really weird room with clouds and crosses and such.

Lord Death himself, however, was the weirdest of them all.

"Hello, Hello!" The odd...thing said in a sing-song voice. "And who may you be?"

"Um.. my name is Joe, Joe Texas." I stuttered. "Ummm... I thought you where the really scary character that Mother Life told me about."

Death narrowed his... eye sockets... "Mother Life is a lying Bitch."

"..."

"What? I'm Death, I can use bad language. And she is, she hasn't seen me is what, 300 years? I was scary then."

"Um... can we get back on subject?"

"Ahh yes! You, the Un-Meisterable weapon," He cracked his neck. "We'll see about that. Stein, come in please!"

Now, I thought Lord Death was odd, this guy... well, you know that book by Mary Shelly? You know, Frankenstein? Well, this guy is Frankenstein.

The Light glinted off his glasses as he looked at me. The only thought running through my head was 'Dear God, please don't let this guy dissect me or something.'

"Can I dissect him?" Stein asked.

My face went true white.

"Now now, Stein," Death scolded "Your here to try and use him," Death turned to me. "Transform, please!"

"Right transform...er...one moment."

Truth be told, it had been a while since I last transformed.

I focused on transforming and after 15 seconds or so I got into my weapon form.

My weapon form consists of the same whip described earlier and a black leather-coated handle with a silver knob at the end.

And so, Stein held me and matched his wavelength with me.

10, 9, 8, 7-

"Its okay so far." Stein said with a hint of hope in his voice.

6,5,4,3-

"Maybe your not Un-Meisterable."

2,1,0.

Stein fainted.

I transformed back into human form and shrugged my shoulders.

"As I said, I am Un-Meisterable."

"Hmmm," Death hmmmed, tilting his head. "This is very interesting," He clapped his hands together. "No Matter! We have had Weapons without Meisters before! Justin Law, the Guillotine death scythe is our best example! But... I supposed he couldn't really be used in weapon form..."

Stein woke up. "My head hurts."

Lord Death sighed. "Since Stein is the mos flexible when it comes to wavelengths, you shall be in his class to see if we can make you a true weapon."

Stein grinned. "Your going to have a lot of fun in Class Crescent Moon"

Great.

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This was more of a filler chapter.. Don't worry, they will be getting longer!


	3. Chapter 3: Class Crescent Moon

Heh...every heard of multitasking? This chappie is being written on one side of the screen with FanFicUnderground on the other side. While listening to music, obviously.

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Chapter 3: Class Crescent Moon

As I walked next to Stein as we headed towards C.C.M.

"Your going to have a lot of fun in Class Crescent Moon." He repeated.

Oh god, I'm almost afraid to ask. "What sort of fun?"

"For start, it contains the elite unit of Spartoi."

"Spartoi?"

"Comprised of the people that fought against the Kishin. We just treat them normally, and they wear normal clothes in school, but on missions they wear the Spartoi uniform," Stein explained "Some of the members include Maka Albarn and her weapon, Soul Evans, Deam-"

I interrupted him. "Maka? She's in the DWMA?"

Stein was surprised. "You know Maka?"

I snorted. "Yeah. We used to go to the same school, before she left to go somewhere, she wouldn't say. A few days later I found out about my weapon powers. You will read about this in my report, but long story short, I went to the LWMA, and the rest is history."

"Heh. Weird," Stein mused. "As I was saying, Death's son, Death the Kid and his twin weapons, Liz and Patti. Also there is Black*Star and Tsubaki."

Part of me died inside. "Black*Star?"

Stein gave me a look. "Had a run in?"

"Yeah..."

"Here we are," He motioned to the door. "Time to meet the nuthou- Ahem, rest of the class."

We walked in, and I was met by a scene of chaos.

All the students where lying about chatting, Black*Star was yelling from the chandelier and general chaos was abundant.

As soon a Stein walked in however, there was a large rush as everyone rushed to their seats. Apart from Black*Star who was still yelling. So Stein threw a scalpel at him, it cutting though his hair.

"One of these days I will hit you, Black*Star." Stein said in a cold, monotonous voice.

Black*Star went to his seat.

Stein recomposed himself. "We have a new student today, 15 year old Joe Texas. One of you may know him." Stein sent me to sit by Maka and her partner.

I saw Maka furrow her brow. "Joe?" she asked

"Hey Maka."

"Joe! I didn't know you where coming here!"

"Well here I am."

"This is great! Its great to have anyone new, but someone I know is even better!" Her look turned to puzzlement. "So.. where's your weapon or Meister?"

I explained me being Un-Meisterable.

"That.. weird... oh, by the way, this is my partner, Soul."

"Lo." Soul lo-ed.

"Hey."

"I think we should focus on the lesson." Maka told us.

And so, we focused on Stein getting ready to dissect.. a... what is that?

"...and that is why you have to be careful cutting open a Peruvian Ground- Toad." Stein lectured as he stabbed his scalpel into the bloated creature. It exploded in his face.

"... and that is why I need to be more careful when cutting... class dismissed!"

And so, we all rushed out of the classroom.

I was about to escape to the canteen to nab some food (a whip does come in handy for grabbing food) when I was stopped by a loud shout.

"JOE TEXAS, I CHALLANGE YOU TO A DUEL!"

Who else, Black*Star.

I sighed. "Alrighty.."

As we headed out to the courtyard, my thought was:

_Hey, this could be fun._

I looked at Black*Star.

_Possibly._

_

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Another chapter. If I do not get reviews by chapter 6, I will put this of freeze until I do.


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